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Nocturnal Meetings of the Misplaced Page 19
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The weird thing was I think I knew. “It was Laney Serel or Sarah Evans.” I took the license out of my pocket. I handed it to him. “I found this in your parents’ drawer. It’s the license of a lady found dead in the woods.” His eyes narrowed as he looked at it. “Or maybe she was my friend Silence’s mom, who had been kidnapped for years, beaten, and tortured. We need to get proof. We need to make things right.”
“Oh, God,” he muttered. “I couldn’t bring myself to go down there again. I was scared of that basement, scared of my mom. I tried to be the perfect son. I wanted a normal life. But what if there was someone, one of those ladies, and I didn’t help them?” He covered his face with his hands, briefly, regretful, and ashamed.
I wasn’t sure what to say. I thought of the letter and the question came to me. “Do your parents own a cabin? Silence’s mom and Laney were both kept in a cabin in the woods? There might be evidence there.”
“Yeah, but they never let us go—” Holden stopped talking as soon as Reese entered the room. The sudden quiet seemed exaggerated.
Reese didn’t seem to notice. She rubbed her eyes and closed her bathrobe. “You guys know, some of us are trying to sleep.”
But before either of us could answer, gunshots rang out! And then I heard a scream.
Chapter 43
What Followed
Tommy
Holden jumped up, grabbing his handgun from the top of the fridge. Reese chased after him, following him to the front door, yelling, “What are you doing? You can’t just go out there!”
I looked out the living room window. Polar Bear’s police cruiser was next door. Holden yelled for Reese to call the police and flew out the door. Reese grabbed the phone. I went after him, telling Reese to “Lock the door!”
A full moon was high in the sky, laying a path like liquid light to Finn’s house. I rushed along that path, shaky from what Holden told me, shakier from the sound of gunshots and Polar Bear’s evil threats. Before I even got there, I found a crumpled body on the driveway, face down. I couldn’t believe it! I crouched down to the gravel and turned him over. I realized that it was Finn’s real dad. His shirt glistened, dark, and full of blood. Tears sprang out of my eyes without warning.
I gently raised his head and placed it on my lap. Blood poured from both sides of his nose and down the side of his face like a grotesque mustache. He must have been hit in the face with a gun, or something significant, but his broken nose was the least of his problems.
“Stay with me!” I begged. “Finn needs you!” His eyes flickered open, revealing pinpoints of broken blood vessels, then closed again.
My eyes poured over him, searching for where the bullet entered. I saw a gaping hole in his chest, surrounded by blood. I took my shirt off, the peace shirt Annie gave me, and rolled it up, holding it on his chest. I tried to slow the blood flow. My voice trembled out the words, “You’re going to be fine, Roy.” All the while, I heard screaming from inside, Polar Bear and Jana.
Roy whispered, “Tell Finn, I love him.”
Those were a dying man’s words. “No, you’re going to tell him,” I said.
More gunshots rang out! The front door sprung open and Jana staggered out and hurried over to us.
My vision blurred from my tears and it was dark, but Jana didn’t look hurt. “Roy!” she called out.
“Where’s Polar Bear?” I was half expecting him to come out and shoot us all. My eyes searched the yard and settled on the front door which was wide-open. Even more alarmed, I asked, “Where’s Holden?”
Jana sank down to her knees, a hopelessness evident in her posture. “I think they’re dead,” she cried.
Sirens resonated in the distance. My voice cracked out the word, “No.” It wasn’t possible. “Hold this!” I put her hand on the shirt, sopping wet with blood, but she let it go and clung to Finn’s dad’s neck, weeping. I rose to my feet and started to run toward the house. I had to help Holden. The lights swept the driveway. The police cars squealed to a halt in front of the house with sirens blaring, doors slamming. Everything began to speed up and run together.
A man’s voice ordered me too, “Stop where you are, and put your hands up!” and I turned around.
The policeman had his gun drawn and pointed at me. I noticed one officer’s narrow face and hawk nose as he silently inched toward me. He again shouted for me to, “Put your hands up now!” I looked past him and saw other police officers invading the lawn with their guns drawn and pointed at me. It was as if I had suddenly made the America’s Ten Most Wanted.
The police lights flashed all around me. I brought my hands up in the air. “Please, help my uncle!” I begged. “He’s been shot!” It wasn’t cold, yet I was shivering all over, my fingers, held above my head, fluttered like leaves on the tree.
An ambulance pulled up. Hope and fear shot through me in a sick rush. “Hurry, you have to help him!”
Reese frying chicken, Finn’s dad working on the dirt bike, were such ordinary moments. It’s strange how everything seems so normal before it all goes to hell.
Polar Bear, a huge, giant of a man, was dead, killed by one tiny bullet. There was more irony and justice than tragedy in it.
Yet, there was a tragedy that night. The next time I saw Holden, the EMTs had loaded him onto a stretcher and worked on him like crazy. Reese came outside, screaming and crying, flying to his side. But Holden was dead, too. I was as sad as I had ever been.
Chapter 44
You’re Nowhere I Know
Tommy
The morning of Holden’s funeral, I was weak and empty. I could barely lift my head up from the pillow. When Reese and Isabella walked into my room, in the basement, I found just enough energy to sit up. Reese didn’t say anything about my pile of dirty laundry, or the bag of half-eaten chips and pop cans, which cluttered the floor. Instead, she and Izzy maneuvered around the mess and collapsed on my bed. We fell into a group hug. Isabella’s head nestled in my chest. Reese’s arms spread over us like wings as she whispered,
“I love you, both.”
I had never been to a funeral and even the concept of death made me uncomfortable. As finite beings, we’re only on this planet for so long and what? My mom’s existential ramblings had gotten to me. This was closer than philosophy. This was Holden’s death. He was alive and well only days ago.
Isabella clung to our aunt as Reese’s family from Kentucky flocked to her side to comfort her. I just stood there, not knowing what to say while Reese introduced me. Her cheeks flushed in a candy pink and her shoulders sagged throughout the entire service.
I nodded and shook hands with strangers who wore dull dress clothes. Some of them hugged me. I halfway hugged them back, keeping my head bent. Silence and Annie came toward me, and the weight of things briefly lightened. First, Silence hugged me, and then Annie.
“This is too sad,” Annie said, and when we parted, added, “I’m sorry.” Her whole face was a frown.
I heard a loud, robust laugh. My grandmother socialized. She put on a somber face. “My boy would want us happy.” I heard her explain as she passed by, squeezing my shoulder on the way. Who was that old lady?
“Did you say goodbye to Holden?” Annie asked, taking my hand. She looked toward the casket.
My eyes scanned a row of flowers, to either side of that coffin. I couldn’t bring myself to even look at the actual coffin, let alone approach it. “No, I just can’t.”
“I could go with you,” Annie’s offer made it seem suddenly doable.
Silence told her to stop pushing me. I saw Jana wheeling Finn in his chair. The girls went over to them. I drifted over at a tortoise’s pace. Finn’s mom began to cry, guilt and loss radiated from her. It wasn’t my place, but I stepped closer and whispered, “It’s not your fault.” She cried harder and I thought I had probably said the wrong thing.
Finn said, “Holden’s a hero. It’s who he was.”
Finn was wearing a ski cap with a dress shirt and tie with slacks. I got s
o used to seeing him in a hospital gown that it seemed odd. Even when he was well, Finn never dressed up.
“You look good,” I told him.
It was too bad Holden had to miss it, I found myself thinking and almost cried. I went to find Annie’s hand again, but she walked off to greet Simon and Carlos.
Carlos came up to me first. Annie and Simon hung back, having some private conversation.
“I’m sorry, bro.” We hugged.
Simon followed, echoing Carlos, as I spotted him holding hands with Annie, so I looked away and watched Finn slowly walk to Holden’s casket to say his silent goodbyes. This was something I didn’t have the balls to do.
Carlos pointed out what flowers his mom had sent.
“Thank her for me,” I mumbled.
“The flowers aren’t really from my mom. I make up shit when I’m nervous,” Carlos confessed.
I almost grinned. “Thanks for coming.” I looked at over at Simon.
“You know I’m there for you, kid,” Simon was still holding Annie’s hand. Silence gave me a look like she was figuring things out.
Soon the service started.
I took my place next to Isabella and Reese on a wooden pew. This can’t be happening, I thought. Away from the distraction of my friends, an overwhelming sadness took me. I kept pushing tears away, fighting a losing battle.
After the service, Carlos pulled me to the side of the chapel and told me that Simon delivered various illegal substances to Michigan. It was why he didn’t mind dropping in. Carlos was worried they’d get pulled over. “Look at me, Tommy. I wouldn’t do good in jail. I’m a pretty boy, I admit it.”
I’d have Holden drive Carlos home, I thought, for that split second, forgetting I was at his funeral. I couldn’t quite believe he was gone.
At that moment, Annie and Simon came up to us again. I lost it. “Get away from her, asshole.”
Annie’s looked concerned. “What’s wrong, Tommy?”
Simon became stone-faced. He let go of Annie’s hand. “Give me a second alone with, Tommy.”
Annie’s brows creased as her eyes met mine, seeking approval.
I nodded.
We watched her walk off before going out to the church parking lot. Carlos followed us but stayed off to the side.
My words poured out. “She’s fifteen and a virgin, leave her alone!”
He put his arm around me and flicked his eyebrows. “C’mon kid, they all got to give it up sometime.”
I hated him in that moment.
Simon asked, “What’s going on? You like her or something? Or I’m not good enough for her?”
“All of the above,” I replied, not caring if he beat me to a bloody pulp. Maybe even wanting to get beat up. “Stay away from her.”
He pulled his arm away and called me every curse word and expletive in the book. He asked, “What the hell, did I ever do to you?”
“Holy crap, Simon! You’re delivering drugs now?” My voice cracked. I turned away from him, keeping my head hung low. He grabbed me by my shoulders, forcing me to face him.
“Look at me, you little shit. So now you’re all judgmental. You loved weed more than anyone since you were ten.”
“Thanks for all the weed! You’re a great big brother,” my voice dripped with sarcasm, but my eyes burned wet with tears. “It’s guys like you that helped break up my family. And keep all the stupid, poor people in jail.”
“What are you, the moral compass of society? Don’t put that crap on me.” He stormed off, stopping after he was a few feet away. He pointed his finger at me. “I don’t know you anymore.” He dropped his arms to his side. “Are you coming, Carlos?”
Carlos looked torn and hesitated. “I’ll call you, Tommy.”
I needed to talk to Holden more than ever. There was no way to find him.
Chapter 45
Secrets and Shadows
Tommy
Holden almost felt like a dad to me. His smile could light up a room. He remained mellow but brave, a hero even. He woke up early and worked hard, doing manual labor, and never complained. Holden hadn’t hesitated to take me and Isabella in. These were the things I didn’t think about when he was alive. Even now, I tried my hardest to ignore the dull pangs of grief. The regret of not telling him a simple, “thanks,” pressed like a weight on my chest.
Early one Tuesday morning, six weeks after the funeral, Reese sat me down at the kitchen table, the same table where we’d gone through the motions of family dinner. And the same table where Holden laid down the laws on my first day here. It seemed like just yesterday. It occurred to me memories are black holes to lose ourselves in. I wanted to sometimes.
Before she could say a word, I started talking. “I’m going to help out around here, a lot more. I promise, Reese. You’re my... favorite adult.” The words caught in my throat. It was an awkward thing to say, but I meant it. No one had ever cooked for me, told me to do my homework, hung up my artwork, asked me about my day, and taken such good care of Isabella. No one. And now my life had already been fractured into two parts. My time with my mom and my time with Reese and Holden. I could feel it ready to break apart again. I braced myself, shaky and desperate. I didn’t want that.
Reese fingernails scraped the table, and she seemed deep in thought. She looked up at me. She pushed back a stray hair that had fallen across her face. Her shoulders tensed and squared as she eased into her words, “Your grandmother had a good idea.”
“No! Please.” It must have been how the captain of the Titanic felt when as they were headed straight for the iceberg and he hit the brakes. You slam on the brakes, even if you know you will still crash. I tried. “I know my grandparents aren’t who they pretend to be. Holden realized this, too.”
She rolled her eyes and frowned. “Don’t bring him into this!”
“Sorry,” I said weakly, but I pushed on. “If you would just listen and give me the benefit of the doubt... I found a driver’s license, belonging to a lady who was murdered, in my grandparents’ drawer.”
Reese looked at me like I was nuts. “Why were you going through your grandparents’ drawers? I better not hear you’re stealing.”
“No! I’m not.” I squeaked. I couldn’t believe this was the part she asked me about? “I was looking for clues.”
Her voice lost all its slow, southern charm and came out loud and pitchy. “Okay. Stop it, Tommy! You’re not a little kid. Grow up!”
A sense of unreality descended. I went numb.
She calmed herself with effort and continued. “And your grandparents just want to get to know you and Izzy. I’m going to Kentucky for a little while, but I’m coming back.” Her face reddened, and her voice became irritable. “No amount of sweet talk or crazy stories is going to change that!”
Reese thought she had it all figured out, but she was dead wrong. Izzy, I thought. What will they do to her if we move in with them? The sting of tears burned my eyes. Yet, it would be much more dangerous if my grandparents knew I suspected them. I had to keep it together for Izzy. I had to play it cool.
My voice cracked. “Do you promise you’ll come back?”
“Yes. Now come on, I’ll give you a ride to school.” She got up snatching the car keys from the hook.
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
The world was shedding. Skeletal leaves rattled under my sneakers as I made my way into the two-story, concrete high school. Finn wasn’t back to school yet, and Annie and Silence were at the junior high. I was lonely. I wasn’t sure about anything else. I wasn’t sure about my feelings for Annie, who was now in a long-distance relationship with my older and criminal ex-friend, Simon.
Maybe I’d fallen into that Hollywood cliché of the dumb boy that didn’t notice his female friend until she got hotter and dated someone else. Anyway, I really wasn’t in the right mindset for some kind of romance. But I’d be protective of Annie, no matter what, even if I laid on my deathbed.
Hailee came up to me, an angel that h
ad fallen down to Earth. “How’s Finn?” she asked, hugging her textbooks.
My locker door stayed open, and I held on to it like it was a security blanket. “Um, he’s doing good. He’s up and walking around.”
“That’s great,” Hailee replied with a smile.
I just couldn’t talk to her, not really. I fell into a worse place than the friend zone. I fell into the acquaintance zone. We shared a polite smile before she walked away.
At lunch, Edgar again followed me into the rumbling cafeteria, loud with the clattering of silverware on plastic plates and bowls and the babbling of multiple conversations—students talking, laughing, and joking. Why not? They didn’t know Holden.
Edgar pulled out a graphic comic from his backpack and started reading. I thought of getting up and abandoning my lunch, the table, the cafeteria, and retreating to some book in the library. I couldn’t very well get away from the grief. Instead, I inserted my earbuds and listened to some music I had downloaded and pretended to be one of them—a normal guy who got stuck sitting next to the weird kid. But I didn’t fit the part of normal or weird either. My mind reverted to Chicago, but it was the same there. I just tried to carve out a small little space in the world to exist in.
Now starting over was no longer the most terrifying thing about my life. The scariest part of my new life was that Holden confirmed my worst fears. Izzy and I were going to be staying with two evil strangers, in a huge, dark house full of secrets and shadows.
After lunch, things shifted. Deep layers of melancholy and apprehension caved in as I saw Finn walking toward me. A few kids greeted him along the way. I watched him in a state of awe. Edgar let out a heavy, “Woo!” followed by, “It’s Wilds!” as if I couldn’t recognize my best friend. A smile slowly spread across my face.